Coaching and Mentoring - From Ordinary to Extraordinary

Reduce Stress and Enhance your Life's Purpose

 

The importance of reducing stress is to enhance your life’s Purpose.

Reducing your stress levels allows you to live a fuller life and celebrate that life completely. Is this one of your purposes?

 

Your love life and your ability to love others unconditionally are enhanced when stress is no longer a felt emotion.

This purposeful living and loving will give you the means to comfortably leave a wonderful legacy. Is this one of your purposes?

 

Let me share an exercise that I have found very helpful in reflecting on how I am living on purpose!!

Write your own obituary while you are alive and well.

Now be honest with yourself as you write it.

Ask yourself, have I been the type of person that will truly be missed one day?

If I come up short and feel I have not- then I know it is time to make some changes in my life.

To reflect how I really want people to feel and remember me once I am gone allows me to build my legacy.

Please take the time to write your thoughts on how you want to be remembered. Relax and sit quietly first. It is time well invested and you will enhance your life’s purpose in the process.

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How to Reduce Overwhelm- Key Steps to Reducing the Stress of Overwhelm

The key steps to reducing the stress of overwhelm are simple yet profound.

We all are given projects that are daunting and overwhelming at the beginning. Some of us, create the projects our selves and we have more control over the amount of overwhelm we feel.

 The overwhelm we feel is real and sometimes cause anxiety or even fear related procrastination. We even dislike the person who assigned the project to us for their disregard of our feelings. Does this sound familiar?

Here is some encouragement:

 

Take “baby steps” or break down the parts of the project into smaller tasks, this may seem very simple but it is most effective. You cannot just think about the project, you have to act on it and do the work. Little by little and do not put off any of the steps. You must stay commented to finish the project.  

You do not need to panic yourself by looking at what it takes to get from point A all the way to point Z!! This is just too much to take in!

Allow yourself to do what you must do to get from point A to B and then from B to C, C to D, and so on- Pace yourself. Use the “ baby steps” in the things you feel may overwhelm you. You will reduce your over all stress levels greatly.

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Coaching Tips- What to Do or Say When Someone you Know Dies- Sharing is Really Caring

What to do or say when someone you know dies sharing is caring. This is a very real problem for most of us. We feel just as lost as the survivor of the dead loved one. We are lost for words. We are also vulnerable to our fears. 

Death ranks high on our list of fears almost as high as public speaking.

As someone, who has worked in hospice and who is a public speaker, I am somewhat of an expert on these fears.

Public speaking gets easier with practice and with the passion, you express for your topic.

 

With dying, we can practice our expressing our emotions and understanding our fears by writing a brief letter.

When someone you know dies, write a brief letter, not an e-mail, but a real letter to one of his or her survivors describing the impact – great or small- the person had on your life.

They will feel good reading your letter and you will feel good writing it.

 

Your fear of death slowly decreases as you practice sharing your feelings with others. By sharing you will learn to celebrate your life!!

 

Coaching Tips- Positive Choices - You can Choose not to be Sad

Positive choices- You can choose not to be sad. It may take a little self understanding and feeling your inner feelings, but it is doable.

Our feelings are our compass and our barometer.

They guide our directions in life and how we enjoy that direction.

 

Occasionally we find ourselves in a situation where we feel sad. Things are not going as we had planned. We even start to feel a little doubtful of our abilities.

 

You have the right not to be sad. You can change how you feel. You do this by Gratitude.

Remember the song that starts “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…..”

Now make a list of your ten favorite things, keep it in a convenient spot, perhaps the bathroom mirror or refrigerator door.

Refer to your “Gratitude List” the very next time you feel sad.

 

You do have a choice not to be sad. There is power in graditude!!

 

 

Coaching Tips- Give Away your Frustration and Receive a Healthier Body and a Calmer Mind

 Give away your frustration and receive a healthier body and calmer mind. Is much easier then you may think.

 You are always putting yourself into situations that could make you angry and frustrated.

 

The very next time you are angry about something, release your frustration by engaging in a non-destructive and non-hostile activity.

Let me suggest a few: hit some tennis balls, go to the driving range and drive golf balls, lift weights, go running or punch a pillow.

 

Doing something physical to release the negative energy of an emotional problem is most effective.

You are putting that negative energy to a positive use that will benefit your body and your mind.

 

In this process, you might even find a solution or an answer to your problem or frustration.

 

 

 

 

 

Coaching Tips- Change Means Growth- Growth Takes Courage

 

We tend to be capable of big, noticeable changes. These changes although sometimes difficult are well planned and thought out. Some examples are marriage or divorce, buying a home, changing jobs or careers to name s few. However, the extremely small seemingly unimportant changes in our lives go unnoticed and sometimes not even followed through.

 

We tend to be very attached to small things and these small things can hold us back from fully enjoying our biggest changes.

I suggest throwing away all your old socks and replacing them with brand new ones. This exercise has huge emotional implications. Socks for the most part are very personal items, a part of us most people seldom see. This is a very personal, almost intimate change.

 

You might laugh at this small change, but many of us refuse to let go of the old worn out ideas or things. You see, we spend over $30,000 to replace a car every four years or so but we hold onto a pair of $6.00 socks for seemingly twice as long! We even reuse them as golf club covers or car polishing cloths etc. Enough already!! Let go!!

Time to change and grow. Have courage  and grow!

 

A Coaching Idea-Completing Yourself-Get Spiritual

 

I believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Some people feel comfortable with religious rituals, some people do not.

 

Whatever form of spiritual activity you prefer I suggest you start doing. 

Suggestion 1) Attend a religious service every week for at least one full month. Don’t let excuses stop you, commit to doing it and do it. You can go to different services at different times. Do what makes you feel good.

 

Suggestion 2) If you do not feel comfortable going to a religious service. Find a quiet place in nature where you can go to every week for at least a full month. Bring with you comfort food and water. Sit and read something that you consider to be scriptures, as you read meditate or pray on the words you have read. Being these words into your life and commit to taking action. 

 

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3 Easy Ways to Relieve your Depressed or Sad Feelings That Really Work

 

 

3 easy ways to relieve your depressed or sad feelings that really work! I use these methods because I am a people watcher.

The next time you are depressed or sad, do something to cheer some one up.

1)   look

2)   listen

3)   take action

 

In the process, two people will feel better!

Try to do this in secret; you will feel the extra boost of cheer!

 

Look- Look around you- The people you see. Use your imagination. What would cheer them up?

They may at first glance seem happy and well off, look longer and deeper; are there signs of sadness there? Think about what you could do to help them. Make eye contact and smile. “That is all”

 

Listen- Listen to the people- What are they really saying? Can you give them any encouragement? Can you say you understand? Can you be a little bit empathetic? “That is all”

 

Take action- Do not expect to fix people or their situations. Only they can do things for themselves, they have the control not you!

Send someone a cheery e-mail include a lovely picture or a fun quote.

Drop off a cheery card on their desk or doorway.

Give a single flower- a rose is great, but a carnation or a daisy is just as enduring. For a wonderful impact, try a single sunflower with a cheery, smiling note attached.

If you prefer you can give a small box of chocolates, or my favorite and signature goodie a roll of flavored Lifesavers.

You can create all sorts of great notes and encouragements to attach to a roll of Lifesavers.

You see in the process of helping and caring for another person you loose sight of your problem and sadness just for a short time. You will feel better as well.

 

With your act of kindness and caring, you really do help two people!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Memories Should be Savored like a Wonderful Meal

 

 

Memories Should be Savored like a Wonderful Meal, they are also non-fattening.

 

Have you ever considered memories as gourmet meals? Those times you celebrated and thoroughly enjoyed yourself and life.

 

Here is how to do the savoring!

 

Find some nice stationary, you still have some, I hope. I have a reason to use this stationery! Ok, now list the ten most wonderful moments in your life, so far!

 

For example- memory jogger:

Going to the prom

Graduating from high school / college

Getting married

Holding your first born

Getting your first car

Moving into your first home / apartment

 

The list goes on, these are just  suggestions.

The reason for the nice stationery is to enhance the memory writing as something incredible and special. Take some time to think back to each of these memories, relive how wonderful they were. Now hang this list on your refrigerator door where you can see it every day, all day.

 

These memories are times you enjoyed. Savor the emotions, that remembering brings back. Savor the planning that went into the making of that memory.

Life is good, your memories show it!

 

You can be happy, you proved it!

 

Now my coaching challenge to you is to add present memories to your journal so in a few months you can remove this wonderful list and replace it will a new improved one!

 

 

Respecting Yourself Starts with Respecting an Elder

 

Respecting yourself starts with respecting an elder, here is a few easy steps to get the job done.

 

We all need to take a better look at how we respect our selves. How are we as role models for our children, employees, friends and our community? How do we feel when we look at our selves in the mirror in the morning, are we just satisfied with our everyday performance or can we improve to make a difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us?

One positive way to increase our own self-respect is to gain the respect of our elders.

How do we do this? Simple, talk to them, help them feel needed again.

 

Take on hour to talk with an elderly person who is not a member of your family.

Ask about his or her greatest experiences in life. Be prepared for a wealth of information and emotions.

Ask if you can audio tape or use a digital voice recorder to record the conversation.  This personal history will be an important document for the person’s family member so offer to give them a transcript.

You can write the conversation down, in an outline form, much like taking notes at school. Then transcribe on quality stationary and give it to the person as a gift.

 

Remember allow the elder just to talk, or answer your questions, let them reminisce the old memories.

 

What is your part in this?

Show genuine interest

Show appreciation and gratitude

They will be your teacher, take this opportunity to learn.

This may be the only chance you get!

 

You will come away with a different perspective of the elderly, a respect for yourself for the action of calm reverence, and your ability to be open to a new learning experience.

 

 

This is another Coaching Moment from the Zensage.